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Who - Thaen |
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Thaen Rasmussen was born with a Marshall amp in one hand and a thunderbolt in the other. His parents spoon-fed him Gerber's Metal Mix off a plate fashioned from original Blue Cheer vinyl. His first words were "turn it up", and he had mastered the power chord before he was out of diapers. Thaen has charged through a succession of hard-rockin' bands including Anvil Chorus, Control, 88Magic, Spy Vs. Spy and Porcelain. His commitment to the thrash melodic speed death metal discipline which defines his oeuvre has been unwavering across the years. Unbeknownst to some, Thaen served as the primary inspiration for the David St. Hubbins character in the movie This is Spinal Tap. Thaen eschews traditional Socratic modes of heavy metal, electing instead to infuse his riffage with more Kierkegaardian sensibilities. Never one to take a pass on post-modern nihilist chord progressions, Thaen is nonetheless a celebrator of the existential condition in his music, most notably through sustained arpeggio cataclysms which invite the listener to choose between exploring uncharted rock 'n' roll territory and dabbing their bleeding eardrums. A true innovator, Thaen is credited with pushing the metal genre from a post-Freudian analysis into a pure Jungian mindset. Thaen's extensive knowledge of hair-care products affords him a comfortable lifestyle as a Research and Development Consultant for the conditioner and pre-rinse industries, and it is widely accepted lore that both Sammy Hagar and Axl Rose consulted with Thaen before undertaking their respective hair weave treatments. Thaen makes his bed every day, calls his family at least twice a month, and believes in the American Way, as long as it's not being prostituted by neo-conservative ideologues. |
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